Jun
7
May
6
Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is “average”.
David: What? How come ‘average’?
Big Boss: Because…err. ..uhh…you lack domain knowledge.
David: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant.
Nov
25
This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India …
1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
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2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the “mundan” ceremony of his 10 year old son: “as I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days..”
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3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding:
“as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave..”
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4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
“As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.”
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5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”
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6. An incident of a leave letter
“I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.”
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7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”
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8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
“As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.”
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9. Covering note: “I am enclosed herewith…”
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10. Another one:
“Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below…”
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11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave”.
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12. Letter writing: -
“I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.”
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13. A candidate’s job application:
“This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘ Typist and an Accountant – Male or Female’…As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.
This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India …
1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
******************************************
2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the “mundan” ceremony of his 10 year old son: “as I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days..”
******************************************
Oct
16
Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different … nothing more
Q. What is JFC?
A. Jeelebi, Fanta & Coffee
Jul
30
Kal jab mile thhe….
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain…
your FILE NOT FOUND!
———— ——— ——–
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga…
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
CTRL+ALT+ DEL kar doonga…
———— ——— ——–
Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye…
Dil sey aisa CUT kiya
ke PASTE karna bhool gaye….
———— ——— ———
Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo…
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to DOUBLE CLICK karo…
———— ——— ———
Roz subha hum karte hain
pyar se unhe good morning…
Woh aise ghoor ke dekti hain
jaise 0 ERRORS aur 5 WARNING…
———— ——— ———
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don’t like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
No more DISK SPACE.
———— ——— ———
Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya SERVER DOWN
———— ——— ———
Jul
7
1. He/She never bargains… No wonder things have become so costly!
2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven’t slept for years…
3. Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon…
4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what 'foreign land' is called] are the ones that would be used by ‘default’…
5. Weekends are holy words… they are like a salvation one seeks for…
6. “Wazzzup”, “Hows life?”, are few obvious questions one will be greeted with which would be immediately followed by “how’s work?”
7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she is currently in…
8. They don’t send or take things… they always forward them!
9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day…
10. They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do… When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is “I wish there was a Google search for my room”
11. Mondays are always blue…
12. All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that something would never be what they are doing right now…
